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It’s not what you say, but how you say it.

So often the difference between success and failure in securing a job closing a sale or just getting your own way is not what you say but how you say it.

The words you use are really only part of the story and there are lots of people out there that will provide how to answer tips and advice, pre-prepared answers to interview questions and lists of responses to common questions. They are all great, at Powering Your Potential we do that, it is expected of a site that helps develop people and prepare them for their next job, either new or a promotion.

It is however only part of the story, that is why our model has three core areas and the Triangle of Potential which brings them together and delivers results because it doesn’t just help you with what to say but more importantly how you say it! Understanding the need for congruence between words and body, along with a balance of confidence, self belief and an engaging story that enables you to stand out, while fitting in is something that supports our belief and the quote that it is not what you say but how you say it.

I used to work with a guy who would never wait for anyone using the photocopier (yes I am going back a while!) but would always tell people he had something that was urgent and really needed to get his copies. What other people were doing was also important but almost always people would let him go ahead and use the machine. It wasn’t what he said but how he said it that made people really feel that his need was greater. If you have ever had just a couple of items in a store and successfully looked to go ahead of someone with a full weeks shop you know how to do this, if you had to wait, then you need to learn how to do this!

I also used to work with a guy who every time, and I mean every time, I passed his desk used to say “Stevie Doyle has a boil right where the sun don’t shine!” It wasn’t done in a hurtful way but almost songlike fashion. I wasn’t offended; it actually made me smile, as it could be heard up to twenty times a day, sometimes only seconds apart. I got to the point of being almost offended if he hadn’t said it.

We work with organisations which are facing difficulties between management and staff, within teams or in their customer engagement. It is rare that people want anything other than the business to do well, work as a team, serve its clients and grow. It is only when it is highlighted that they are perhaps telling, rather than asking, not helping people see what is truly in it for them, enabling them to understand why something is being changed. The message is not being landed not because of what is being said but how it is being conveyed.

So if you are a business or an individual wondering why people are not hearing your message then ask yourself the very simple question, is it what you are saying or how you are saying it that is the problem?