If we believe we can't then we never will, if we believe we can we always will!
Confidence is an area that many people are not comfortable with, including me. There is a fine line between being confident and arrogant. Being confident can create a feeling of anything is possible, as with everything though there is a positive side and a negative side. Being overconfident can come across as arrogant, cause you to take things for granted, not perform at your best and make poor decisions. Not having enough confidence will hinder your progress, prevent you from stepping outside your comfort zone and creating yourself new opportunities and experiences.
What is confidence? The definition according to the Cambridge English Dictionary: The quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.
How do we improve our confidence?
Think of a time when you have challenged yourself and taken on a new venture. Maybe it is playing a musical instrument, taking up a new team sport, delivering a presentation, applying for that new job, or even finding yourself having to speak in public. How did you feel? What were your fears? How did it go? What feedback did you seek out? What went well and what didn’t go so well? What would you do differently next time? There are so many questions you need to ask yourself and you need to write down and record your answers.
We all have that nagging voice that sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear, “You cannot do this” “You are going to fail” “People won’t believe or trust what you are saying” You do not know enough about the topic” the list can go on and on.
This subconscious behaviour is described as the imposter syndrome. As negative as this can be, always keep in mind that its main job is to protect you. It is easier for us to recall negative experiences where things didn’t go to plan rather than recalling all the great things that went really well. Get into the habit of writing down and recording positive events or experiences. Take time to look back over these positive events and relive the feelings and experiences you will be amazed at the feeling of confidence it will give you.
It is your lack of belief that creates that lack of confidence, taking that small step which may seem massive, will always hold you back, if you choose to not to take it. We assure you once you have decided to take the step believe in yourself, it will nowhere be as hard as you thought it would be.
We worked with an executive that needed to ask the CEO of an organisation a difficult question. They did not have the confidence to approach the CEO, they had already decided how bad things would go, He was too busy to meet them, he would disagree with their suggestion, it would impact their career, everything that could possibly go wrong, they had already considered.
We asked them to ask themselves a different question, what if the conversation went well? Start to think about the positives and all the good things. They had the conversation with CEO and things went very well. If they hadn’t of stepped outside their comfort zone with confidence and asked the question, then they would still be doing the same job today.
Think about a situation where you feel you would like to be more confident. Write down all the positives that could happen. Start with something small, then take the step outside your comfort zone, go and do it.
See, it wasn’t as bad as you thought!